Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
