Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
jump out the window naked night went bad
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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