ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
