ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize