hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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