Can i not drive my cunt home
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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