i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
