Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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