dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Randomize
