somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
