No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
