May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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