I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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