sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
