The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
