nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
