my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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