So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
