I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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