Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
