you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
