I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
