something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
