she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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