no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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