hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
