she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
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