whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I forgot how hot balto sounded
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
