Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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