I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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