Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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