If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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