I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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