we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
