In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
