Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I think a kid would responsible me up
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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