Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
