I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
