Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
