i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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