No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize