I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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