Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
