4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Randomize
