It's Friday. Sex?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
