Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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