New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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