I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
