More tranny stories later!
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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