grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
