I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
where does the pee come out of this thing
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
