woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize