so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
