I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
