You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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