Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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