like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
