Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
